Chocolate

CHOCOLATE – THE ALL CONSUMING PASSION
 
For those of you for whom chocolate is not just a passing fancy but a philosophy by which to live, but whose cravings are afflicted with guilt about health and nutrition, I offer the following items.
 


1) Chocolate is a vegetable. How, you ask? Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Beans are a vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.

2) To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk,
which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food.

3) Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all
count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

4) If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too
slowly.

5) The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store
in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

6) Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the
edge off your appetite, and you’ll eat less.

7) If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the
fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the
chocolate to protect themselves.

8) If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is
that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

9) Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look
younger. Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.

10) Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today.That
way, at least you’ll get one thing done.

11) A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of
calories in one place. Now, isn’t that handy?

12) If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer.
But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

13) If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can’t let that happen, can you?

This entry was posted in Humor. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Chocolate

  1. Stephen Craig says:

    Jorje, Thank you for visiting the painting studio and for your most kind comments. I really have a feeling of being in this space before. If I did not comment, please accept my appologies. Nice space, and your word are well written. Be well. Stephen Craig Rowe

  2. Moon says:

    you made me laugh out loud!!!!!i needed that!!!!thank you

  3. Linda says:

    Thanks a lot for your comments on my blog. It\’s really nice to know you and you have a wonderful blog here. Very nice one!Stay in touch!All the best there!Linda

  4. Linda says:

    so funny and interesting points on chocolate. Do you like chocolate?

  5. Marge says:

    AMEN!!!Somebody, give me an AMEN!!!sorry. i think about chocolate and become empassioned…Thanks for a little fun today, Jorje! You are a very wise man. You must also be a chocophile…Marge

  6. None of your Beeswax! says:

    I hope you don\’t mind that I added this wonderful post of yours to my blog!  It was too funny and was right in line with my last post.  Thanks so much!

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