Death by Stupidity

 

DEATH BY STUPIDITY

 

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed through

stupidity, here is some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

 

On Sears’s hairdryer:  "Do not use while sleeping."

(Gee, that’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)

 

On a bag of Fritos:   "You could be a winner!  No purchase necessary. Details inside." (The shoplifter special.)

 

On a bar of Dial soap:  "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how…?)

 

On some Stouffer’s frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But it’s *just* a suggestion.)

 

On Sara Lee’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):  "Do not turn upside down."

(Too late!)

 

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:  "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows the day…)

 

On packaging for a Black and Decker iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."

(But wouldn’t this save some time?)

 

On Tylenol’s Children’s Cough Medicine:  "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

 

On Nytol Sleep Aid:  "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

 

On most brands of Christmas lights:  "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

 

On a Japanese food processor:  "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I’m curious.)

 

On Planter’s peanuts:  "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)

 

On an American Airlines’ packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."  (Step 3: Fly Delta.)

 

On a child’s superman costume:  "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(I don’t blame the company. I blame parents for this one.)

This entry was posted in Humor. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Death by Stupidity

  1. Moon says:

    so silly, but, gosh, i was laughing out load :-)thanks

  2. Debbie says:

    I am very disappointed that the last one is not true.Debbie

  3. Elle Sheri says:

    Thought I\’d let you know how insightful your writings are.. you are a talented writer indeed :)- Elle

  4. Unknown says:

    Great choice in books. I have read nearly all and enjoy all.Sorry, not a comment on this list but haven\’t the skill to praise your reading list otherwise.Take care, Bob

  5. the1stephzen says:

    Ah, the world we live in…

  6. Cheryl says:

    thanks for the humor…gotta run…..kids everywhere

  7. Jaime Campbell says:

    These made me laugh! Jaime.

  8. sebas says:

    Of course the book man´s search for meaning´is a great book. Every one should read that. Thanks for the comment. You place a lot interesting material here. Congrates. All the bestSebastian

  9. Unknown says:

    Jorge,Thanks for the visit and the comments. I am adding you to my favorites. You have a lot to offer the world!

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