DEATH BY STUPIDITY
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here is some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On Sears’s hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
(Gee, that’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (The shoplifter special.)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how…?)
On some Stouffer’s frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But it’s *just* a suggestion.)
On Sara Lee’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down."
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows the day…)
On packaging for a Black and Decker iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn’t this save some time?)
On Tylenol’s Children’s Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I’m curious.)
On Planter’s peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)
On an American Airlines’ packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: Fly Delta.)
On a child’s superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don’t blame the company. I blame parents for this one.)