Weddings

We’re going to a wedding tonight. The cynical might view this as another victory of hope over experience, but it’s nice to see young couples making a formal commitment to each other for all to see. Besides, it’s great to see someone you like find that special someone in the world they can annoy the rest of their life.

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I confess that having attended several weddings this year, I felt the receptions particularly to be a "bit over the top." I mean, do you really have to have floral arrangements costing more than the GNP of a small country? And does it really to take an army of photographers and a video crew worthy of a rock star event to record the affair for posterity? Especially if the couple and their parents otherwise are forced to live financially modest lives? I realize that a wedding represents an important turning point in the lives of the participants, but shouldn’t the focus be on the time and the life after the ceremony is over? I can’t help but feel that if the effort to produce a "perfect wedding" were channeled into producing " a perfect marriage" all participants would fare better in the long run.

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I admit to being old fashioned, and have been accused of being grumpy on occasion. I guess Iโ€™ll just have to keep my opinions to myself this evening, and try to be a good guest. After all, just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

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21 Responses to Weddings

  1. Jaime Campbell says:

    Jorge, you made me laugh really hard at the end of this! You\’re funny! It\’s surprising to me to hear you say that you are grumpy on occasion. I mean, we all are, but you don\’t seem to be that at all! Anyway, I agree with absolutely everything that you wrote. I guess it\’s partly succumbing to what society and our culture put out there as the "norm." But when I was getting married (both times), my sponsor in OA kept reminding me to keep my focus on WHY I was getting married, rather than on the wedding. I liked that and it helped. Anyway, I hope that you are having fun. Dance up a storm, dude! And enjoy! Love to you, Jorge. Jaime.

  2. A Utah Woman Am I says:

    Jorge-I enjoyed reading this post. I have always told my parents that when I get married I will be the "easy" child, as I don\’t want a big wedding. I would rather have a nice house to start in.You bring up an interesting point though, why is it that we put so much time money and effort into something that is only going to last one day. I suppose in this kind of situation we like to \’buy\’ some of our happiness. That sounds weird though…Hope you are having a great rest of the weekend!!!-Kelsey

  3. Marie says:

    I enjoyed reading this entry, Jeorge. I am sorry I have missed reading some past entries.I have been quite busy preparing for the homecoming of my son. He arrived finally last Friday, September 09. He will be staying until Oct. 02.I will be coming back often during the next few days to catch up on the entries I missed.Hugs, Marie

  4. Debbie says:

    I think these crazy weddings are the fault of over-the-top birthday parties that these brides had as little girls. It\’s all gotten totally out of hand. I\’m not going into debt for my children\’s weddings!

  5. Marge says:

    Jorge, your entry for 9/10 was poignant for me. I smiled while my eyes misted a little.My youngest son, Matt, married Chauncy–the best one to happen in his life–on the 10th. I told Chauncy my first gift to her was my son; the second was her wedding dress.I love her dearly; I\’ve never had a daughter before. I hope to be a good mom-in-law.As one of those who failed at her own marriage, I now view the institution as one which is so incredibly optimistic, so incredibly frail–a candle in the wind.I hope and pray with all my heart that these two beautiful young people can weather the storms which I could not.I pray that for every pair of hearts which dare to enter such a challenging journey together.Life is hard enough.It\’s even harder without love…Wishing you peace.Marge

  6. Jaime Campbell says:

    So…how was it? Did you dance and have fun? I\’m blue today. I hope you\’re sunshiny yellow and orange. Jaime.

  7. SANDRA says:

    My friend Jorge…you have the wisdom of the earth…I love it…and this post is soooo true…if they would put that much energy of just the wedding into the marriage..it might just work (laughing again). Everytime I visit you I come away with a bit of your wisdom..a bit of your spirit..a bit of your smile….go enjoy this crazy expensive wedding…(laughing again)….toast the couple..go home and cuddle that wonderful woman that is yours….Eternally your friend today and Beyond….Sanddee

  8. Jaime Campbell says:

    Thanks, Jorge. I am feeling less blue already. Had a big talk with Hubby and that helped. Communication! Hard but so important!Glad you had fun at the wedding. ๐Ÿ™‚ Love, Jaime.

  9. M says:

    Dear Jorge,Thank you for leaving me so many friendly messages. I am really moved. School keeps me busy all day long, I have no time to update my space, sorry about that. I spent a lot of time chewing the material of my comparative politics class and there are a lot of papers from different classes. I am taking 21 hours this semester and I work 20 hours from Monday to Friday. Pretty challenging, huh? Sometimes I felt really tired, fortunately, I\’ve got angels in my life, and you, Jorge, you are my angel, seriously! I will be keeping in touch with you if time is offered. Meanwhile, I would like to say that I have learnt a lot from your blog, you are awesome! I really like your blog and cherish the friendship between you and me. : )Have a good day!Sincerely,Mian

  10. Tartylicious says:

    Hello Jorge!Thank you so much for leaving me with a very heartwarming birthday message. I really appreciate it a lot. I am truly grateful I met people like you.Take care always and take it easy ๐Ÿ˜‰

  11. Fructose says:

    Extravagant expenditure during wedding ceremony at times where life is difficult may not mean practical, even on a case to case basis, the would be spouses are financially capable of such expenditure, the same are not looked upon with favor. It is the purpose of the would-be spouses that counts. On the lighter side, my advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\’ll be happy; if not, you\’ll become a philosopher.

  12. Jaime Campbell says:

    Hi my friend. Love, Jaime.

  13. Kathryn says:

    I\’m one of those that hates weddings….*laughing* I\’ve been married twice, and both weddings were small, very small….small you say? Yes, like both less than $1000 small! *laughing* -but I guess I\’ve never been "Traditional" kind of woman. I do love going to them and making a complete ass of myself on the dance floor after too much wine or champagne — *erk* So, my friend- dance dance dance like you\’ve never danced beforeeee! *grin*

  14. Patricia says:

    Hello Jorge, so glad to have your visit…have you been to all those places in your albums?…loved the blue door in Italy and the blue shutters in Chile…in fact, loved all the doors…also enjoyed seeing the picture of Naples…have been to Hawaii…made me hate winter…lol…wedding cost?…mine was probably less that a hundred dollars…many years ago…lol…hope to see you again…Pat

  15. A Utah Woman Am I says:

    Hey J!Just stopping in to check on you. I hope that you are taking care of yourself and doing quite well. I will be back so see what wonderful work you will post next. Till then, take care of yourself!-Kelsey

  16. Jerry says:

    My friend….. we men have only one fault…. our weakness for women and toys…… that IS just one, right?I\’m with you…. our society puts all it\’s effort up front and then in the name of "personal space" or "privacy" we allow our children to make the same mistakes that we did.There should be classes for both parents and children on marriage…… practical advice, not just church based. We do a pretty poor job without adding guilt into it as well!!great blog….. loved it!

  17. Marie says:

    I have attended many fancy weddings here in Japan, not only the weddings of my husband\’s relatives but also the weddings of formers students. It seems that it is every Japanese girl\’s dream to have a "dream" wedding attended by hundreds of friends and relatives. However, the Japanese have a way to make the dream come true. . . Everyone brings a "monetary present" placed inside a fancy envelope. The amount varies, depending on the status of the person giving it, but usually, it is based on the estimate of what a fancy dinner would cost, multiplied by 4 or 5. So, in reality, everyone is not only paying for the cost of the reception but also giving a substantial monetary gift that the couple could use to buy whatever they need to start their married life – a sort of a grand wedding present from everyone. No other present is expected, only the monetary one. This may be excellent for the ones getting married, but it can be very trying for people who get invited to weddings often.Hugs, Marie

  18. Jaime Campbell says:

    TAG! Here are you questions:Seven things I hate doing or that scare meSeven things I like Seven random facts about meSeven things I\’d like to do before I dieSeven things I can doSeven things I can\’t or won\’t doSeven things I say the mostSeven celebrity crushesSeven people I tagged to do this quiz

  19. Jaime Campbell says:

    Thank you for telling me some things about you. That\’s why I think those things are fun. See, I didn\’t even know you were married or have a child! Very wonderful, Jorge! Anyway, thanks for answering even when you aren\’t crazy about those things. That was very sweet. ๐Ÿ™‚ Jaime.

  20. Linda says:

    Hi Jorge,How are you recently? Thanks a lot for your kind msgs you sent to me. Happy to know you.I like your thoughts and like to read your blog too.Because you share many things and your own thoughts here.The weekend is coming, wish you have a wonderful time there!Keep cool!Linda

  21. Unknown says:

    Hi Jorge, great blog, really put a smile on my face :o) Here in UK, many seem to see getting married as \’the wedding day\’ and don\’t think about beyond the celebration. Maybe it should be a legal requirement to live together for a year before being allowed to marry, then perhaps people wouldn\’t jump in so quickly with disastrous consequences! Of course, not all marriages end in disaster, but we have a very high rate of divorce and seperation here! Totally agree with channeling the energy into creating \’the perfect marriage\’ rather than the \’perfect wedding\’. From the daughter of a three-times married (twice divorced) mother who still believes in true love and happily ever after romance but not willing to rush into anything :o)Joy, peace, happiness.Sarah x

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