More Medical Terms for the Lay Public

Medical Terms for the Lay Public – (I to V)

 

Based on your recent positive response to my last offering on this topic, here are some more daffynitions for your (hopeful) amusement.

 

Impotent – distinguished or well know.

Kaopectate – a former boxer.

Labor pains – getting hurt at work.

Liver – bon vivant.

Myopia – not your opia.

Neuritis – early stage of olditis.

Oral thermometer for use on TV evangelists.

Pap smear – a political attack ad against Mr. Pap.

Pelvis – cousin to Elvis.

Physiology – study of carbonated beverages.

Plastic surgery – operation paid for by credit card.

Polyps – where you kiss Paul.

Recovery room – a place to do upholstery.

Red cells – a prison in the former USSR.

Retractor – a politician who denies what he said.

Scalpel – what Custer lost at Little Big Horn.

Seizure – a famous Roman emperor.

Shingles – unmarried “drunkshs.”

Terminal illness – getting sick at the airport.

Triglyceride – a monster form Jurassic park.

Tubal ligation – suing the Lincoln Tunnel.

Ultrasound – the Big Bang.

Vital signs – warnings at dangerous crossings.

And my thanks go out to Gelert848 who offered:

Enema – someone who is against you.

Tachycardia – cheap birthday card.

As well as to Coboro, who came up with:

Duodenum – two pairs of jeans.

Triage – when you pin the whole damn tree on her bosom.

Yeast Infection – flat beer.

Sample – enough pee.

Contusion – when you’re not sure where you got that black eye.

This entry was posted in Humor. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to More Medical Terms for the Lay Public

  1. karen says:

    LOLI\’m gonna have to scour my files for some others. Having spent the last 15 years working in a hospital, I\’ve amassed many of these wackyisms.

  2. Linda says:

    Thanks for sharing.Nice day there! All the best:-)Linda

  3. Jaime Campbell says:

    Hi Jorge,Funny stuff! Thanks for the smile. 🙂 Have a fabulous day. Hope you and your family are doing well and that things are settling down after the burglary. Thinking of you all.Love to you.Jaime.

  4. Patricia says:

    Laughing at these, too…very good, Jorge…

  5. Theresa says:

    Too funny!! 😉 Nice space! Have a good weekend!

  6. Unknown says:

    I love it! Very funny blog entry. You are welcome to my space anytime.

  7. Michelle says:

    (laughing) Hilarious!Have a great weekend Jorge! :)-M.

  8. A Utah Woman Am I says:

    These are great Jorge!Firstly, I must thank you for your warm comments on my space. They are so positive and encouraging and I thank you for sharing them with me. Secondly, how is your winter treating you? Are you enjoying this time of year? I know I am, and will be more once finals are long gone.As for this post, a definite smile was put on my face! I suppose you have these in your office somewhere :o) My favorite?Ultrasound – the Big BangI will have to use that one on some science tests or even in discussion sometime… Scientists of any kind enjoy that kind of humor….so thanks for sharing!hope you have a fabulous weekend!Take care!Kelsey

  9. Marie says:

    I always enjoy my visits to your space, Jorge.I am not surprised that you have never heard of Kopi Luwak during your stay in Indonesia. I don\’t think they even serve that coffee there. I think they export all that they produce!! Here in Japan, it is served only in exclusive coffee shops – coffee shops that are membership clubs. It is not sold in any supermarket nor department store. So, what my student, Hideo, did to be able to give me the opportunity to drink this specialty coffee was really very special and he was able to do it only because he works in a company that is in the coffee industry. I arrived San Diego yesterday and already I attended a Christmas party! I am staying with my younger sister Carmelita, and last night, she gave a Christmas party at her home for the members of one of the organizations she belongs to. Today is a Saturday morning, so after waking up late this morning, I decided to do some blog visiting. I brought my laptop computer along and am able to connect with the internet through my sister\’s home\’s cable LAN wireless router, so happily, keeping in touch with my blogging friends will not be a problem. I just hope the holidays will not keep me too busy.I will be visiting again, soon.Hugs, Marie

  10. Marge says:

    Greetings, Jorge.We have had several days of non-stop grey, overcast skies. I need more sunshine, but it\’s not coming from the sky at the moment. I found a little bit right here; thanks for the smile.You not only bring wisdom to your journal, but humor as well; thank you for giving your readers something for their hearts as well as for their minds…I\’ll be back…Peace.Marge

  11. A Utah Woman Am I says:

    Just peering back in on you Jorge to ask how your weekend is going? Are you preparing for the holidays with any success?I have come to the conclusion that trying to be "original" for gifts is tough–but of course, that doesn\’t mean I can\’t be tougher!Best of luck with your Christmas shopping! Also, thank you again for the wonderfully nice comments you leave on my space. They literally…MAKE MY DAY! :o)Your thankful friend,Kelsey

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