Medical Terms for the Lay Public – (I to V)
Based on your recent positive response to my last offering on this topic, here are some more daffynitions for your (hopeful) amusement.
Impotent – distinguished or well know.
Kaopectate – a former boxer.
Labor pains – getting hurt at work.
Liver – bon vivant.
Myopia – not your opia.
Neuritis – early stage of olditis.
Oral thermometer for use on TV evangelists.
Pap smear – a political attack ad against Mr. Pap.
Pelvis – cousin to Elvis.
Physiology – study of carbonated beverages.
Plastic surgery – operation paid for by credit card.
Polyps – where you kiss Paul.
Recovery room – a place to do upholstery.
Red cells – a prison in the former USSR.
Retractor – a politician who denies what he said.
Scalpel – what Custer lost at Little Big Horn.
Seizure – a famous Roman emperor.
Shingles – unmarried “drunkshs.”
Terminal illness – getting sick at the airport.
Triglyceride – a monster form Jurassic park.
Tubal ligation – suing the Lincoln Tunnel.
Ultrasound – the Big Bang.
Vital signs – warnings at dangerous crossings.
And my thanks go out to Gelert848 who offered:
Enema – someone who is against you.
Tachycardia – cheap birthday card.
As well as to Coboro, who came up with:
Duodenum – two pairs of jeans.
Triage – when you pin the whole damn tree on her bosom.
Yeast Infection – flat beer.
Sample – enough pee.
Contusion – when you’re not sure where you got that black eye.