Excuses

Thanks to all of you who left comments on this last poem. Death is a subject most people feel uncomfortable in discussing, and your responses reflect a broad range of feelings on the topic. I felt it was time to take a break from the serious and the tragic, for which reason I offer you the following –
 

Excuses

 

Teacher Val Rodriguez provided the following gem of excuses parents had written for their children:

  • Ralph was absent yesterday because of a sore trout.
  • Please excuse John from being absent on January 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and 33.
  • Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
  • My son is under the doctor’s care and should not take fisacal ed. Please execute him.
  • Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday she fell off a tree and misplaced her hip.

And the favorite on the list was an absent notice that had the following written in the box for “Reason”: “Sex.”

This entry was posted in Humor. Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Excuses

  1. Cheryl says:

    Very cute…

  2. Debbie says:

    Cute…but sad to say that most of the parents of my students no longer write excuses for their children\’s absences.

  3. Kathryn says:

    *LAUGHING!***

  4. Suzalita says:

    I\’m gonna need to keep these in mind! It would be fun to send it a note like this!

  5. Nellie O Apple says:

    hahaha… cool humour, Jorge 🙂 When I was very healthy and used to work everyday, I heard some guys picked on to one of our co-workers about -hey, did you get lucky last night? I wonder what it was and it took awhile for me to realized that it was all about SEX! LOL Or there is one guy who did tell some nurses about how he was get laid!Huh! The fact: These people were late on their shift!Buh-bye

  6. Stephen Craig says:

    Thank you for stopping by the studio. I recall in high school, a student forging a note excusing his absence because of the death of his grandfather. It worked so well that he tried it two more times! Smile. As ever be well. Stephen Craig Rowe

  7. Jaime Campbell says:

    OMG. Those made me laugh so early in the morning. Very fun. I love the one about Dianne being in bed with Gramps. Hilarious!Hey, thanks for the vote on the Hall of Fame thing. And thanks for what you said there, too. Made me feel great.Hugs,Jaime.

  8. Gelert says:

    Hehe. Yes, love these. I used to have a whole collection of these, but lost it ages ago. There was one I remember though, rather sad really, and true, it wasDear Mr …. Billy was not in school yesterday becos of his homework. You said if it takes ten men two hours to dig a hole in a field, how long would it take two men? I wish you would think before setting these questions. Billy\’s dad had to round up all his cousins and friends and miss work to do this. Please stay with sums.this was written back in the sixties, in a poor rural part of America. Hopefully it wouldn\’t happen today!Would it? 😉

  9. the1stephzen says:

    Thanks! As a teacher I loved that. I\’ve been laughing this week. Teaching ESL, I\’m never totally aware of what my students do and don\’t know. I was drinking root beer in a can in one of my morning glasses, and a Turkish student came up after class and said, "You drink beer in the mornings?" He thought it was alcoholic. I guess if it had been an afternoon class it would have been ok. lol I got an e-mail a day or so ago from a student from Napal who added "Have a nice dream. Good Bite"

  10. the1stephzen says:

    I actually stopped by to tell you that I really appreciate your response at The Last Cabin. Good post.

  11. Brian says:

    I used to have loads of these howlers teaching EFL in Japan and Germany. But the one that stands out was from an ex-student in Hamburg who became a really good mate. He and I would sometimes go out of a Saturday and I\’d stay at his flat overnight. Sunday mornings he\’d make us a wonderful breakfast, and I have yet to have as perfect a boiled egg as Vinnie used to make. I\’ll admit I was more than a little in love with him.One Sunday we\’d finished breakfast and were having a smoke in his kitchen. Both of us low, both trying to recover from failed love affairs. He was rubbing my feet, I was watching, and bitching away. Vinnie\’s English was about as good as my German back then, so we usually spoke in French together, but at the end of my diatribe, I switched to English and said, \’Love sucks.\’He stopped rubbing my feet, puzzled; looked at me, looked at my feet, looked back at me and said,\’You love socks?\’

  12. Pamela says:

    Your wit is too much…I\’m just laughing…Thanks!Peace.

  13. Gayle says:

    Big smile on my face! Thanks for your comments on my space. Take it light.G.

  14. A Utah Woman Am I says:

    My goodness Jorge!What a change of topic indeed! But you are correct, after discussing something so deep you need something to grin about. You have inspired me to do just the same on a upcoming post. I will need to go "digging" to see what kind of fun stuff I can pull up.Thanks for the smile again and for sharing your stories with me. Eating your first orange, wow, I can imagine that would have been amazing. Cheers!Kelsey

  15. Marge says:

    I saved my best stop for last tonight, Jorge.I expected to find food for thought, something contemplative and reflective, and found this delightful little jem in its place.I think I needed the smile I am smiling now more than a heavy thought.My mind will rest easy, comforted by a little gentle humor.Thank you for that.Peace and Love.Marge

  16. Michelle says:

    Those are so cute.Thanks for making me smile once again.Abrazo yHappy Monday to you!-Michelle

  17. Jaime Campbell says:

    Hey Jorge!How are you? I\’m good. I just wanted to come by and say hi and tell you that, as usual, I loved your comment! :)Joy!Jaime.

  18. Patricia says:

    These are always fun to read!…

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