I wonder who sits around and thinks up the state motto you see so proudly displayed on car license plates. (It’s these kind of thoughts that make those around me suggest I have too much free time on my hands.) In the spirit of progress and change, I offer these slogan writers the following suggestions:
Arizona: But It’s A Dry Heat
California: By Age 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda
Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedys Don’t Own It Yet
Delaware: We Really Do Like Chemicals In Our Water
Illinois: Please Don’t Pronounce The "S"
Indiana: Two Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
New Mexico: Lizards make Excellent Pets
Ohio: At Least We’re Not Michigan
Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
You are invited to add your own, alter these, or just forget the whole thing.