Father’s Day Memory

Tomorrow is Father’s Day. We have chosen this one day to celebrate that special bond that exists between fathers and their children, and to honor the person who has given so much of his life to us. It is a relationship which may not always been easy, but has, hopefully, always been filled with love. For many, especially for those whose fathers came from the pre-war generation, the level of communication may have been less than either desired, at a time when fathers were expected to be strong, and mostly silent. For some, fathers were absent for a variety of reasons during the growing up years. But all of us have felt the ties, or at least the desire, for that which binds us. Here is my tribute, posted last year, to both my parents. Dad, I still miss and love you!



One writes against memory, not with it. One writes to measure loss.

Today is the anniversary of my father’s death; tomorrow is the anniversary of the loss of my mother. Like the gradual glitch of shifting faults, almost unnoticed, the loss of both parents brings one to the edge of abyss of one’s own mortality. The realization of their absence in my life creates a viscosity in my heart; a space in my bulwark against the world that I realize will remain forever unfilled.


Tonight I grieve, as I have grieved over them from the moment of their passing. I do this not out of filial duty, but out of immense respect for who they managed to be, given the severe exigencies of their war-torn lives, and out of love – their greatest gift to me. Their love enveloped me in a cloak that is with me to this day. She set me free – literally. She sent me into the arms of a free world, giving me up so I may escape the tyranny that bound us all at the time, knowing that by so doing, she may never see me again. He gave me all that he was capable of giving, and worked tirelessly to make a new, better life for us. She gave me humor and grace, the ability to love that which is beautiful, to sorrow over another’s pain, taught me the importance of friendship, and the need to help another whenever I could. He gave me determination and perseverance, showed me the satisfaction to be found in a job well done, and taught me that only my best effort was acceptable. Neither one was perfect, and as I grew up, I slowly learned to forgive them for that. And as I matured, and developed the ability to see people and the world from several perspectives, I came to realize that they were, indeed, extraordinary people.


There is no experience quite as stunning as when there is nothing where something has always been. I still find myself wanting to pick up the phone, call one of them, and tell them about some event in my life. It has been over 2000 years since Virgil penned “sunt lacrimae rerum” – “There are tears in things.”  So I shed my tears, replay in my mind a kaleidoscope of images from our lives together, and work to be worthy of their memory. An individual life can appear to be isolated and without purpose unless recognized as contributing continuity to lives that precede it and follow it endowing each human span with rich universality. For life goes on, then it goes on some more.


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14 Responses to Father’s Day Memory

  1. PJ says:

    Dear Jorge,
    First let me say to you…HAPPY FATHER\’S DAY.
    Your Father and Mother are looking down and could not have asked for a better son. Your tribute that is written is so full of love and admiration, that I re-read it 4 times.
    It has been 11 years since I lost my Father. There is not a day that passes, that for whatever reason, he does not appear in my thoughts. We had many obstacles to overcome in earlier years, but in the end, forgiveness is the a most powerful love of all.
    Thank you for this entry and once again, thank you for being YOU. As you so well stated, They made you who you are, and that is the BEST.
    Until next time…Keep Smiling.

  2. not such crazy says:

    Happy fathers Day ,Jorge…
    Great post you made and thoughtfull….
    I think you father will be proud with you if he will be alive…
    have nice, sunny weekend

  3. Fenix says:

    Happy Fathers Day Jorge
    Your writing is very emotional.

  4. Suzalita says:

    What a lovely tribute – Happy Father\’s day to you as well!

  5. Cheryl says:

    Wonderful writing about family and grief and importance of our ancestors.  Thanks for sharing…

  6. K says:

    Jorge… happy Father\’s day to you.
    That was beautifully written and expressed.
    Hope all is well with you.
    Take care,

  7. PJ says:

    Just checking in on you.
    Take care …Keep Smiling.

  8. Gayle says:

    You, you, you.  You often leave me speechless and feeling full of heart.  I couldn\’t bring myself to write this Father\’s Day, though I had intended.  It was somehow too raw for me, though my Daddy\’s been gone since 2001.  This year I just kept tearing up; maybe it\’s the realization of my own aging, I\’m not sure.
    But you, my friend, did a wonderful job of expressing what was caught in my throat.  Thank you.
    Be well.

  9. PJ says:

    Thank you Jorge.

  10. Kathryn says:

    This is beautiful…..poignant, sad, but very beautiful….

  11. Stephen Craig says:

    I talked to my father last night.  His voice is but a whisper but very clear.   The love of father to son is forever.   And the love of the son to the father is forever.
    There is a place where words are.   And a place where the words are not.  When I go to my pillow, I take off the ring of my Grandfather and kiss it as I pray.
    And around the Crack of Noon!  When I wake, I kiss the ring and pray.   You are a good person and I need you to think about being a contributing editor at
    FLYING MONKEYS MSN SPACES Online International New World  news.  Wh ew………………………..

  12. Deborah says:

    Beautiful tribute, I have come to expect great things by visiting your space, and once again you surpass my expectations.  Bravo!  My Mom died in my arms nearly twelve years ago, my Father died in Korea a month before I was born.  Not all memories are pleasant, but then some are exquisite.
    Blessed be,

  13. Jill says:

    Dear Jorge,
    I personally don\’t formally celebrate father\’s day or any "holiday" for that matter. In our home, we talked things over and decided it would be more authentic if we celebrated spontaneously for whatever reason we wanted to! I have enjoyed this kind of life for many years.
    Nevertheless, I very much appreciate your reflextions about your parents and would like to know more. There were many things you mentioned that peaked my interest and curiosity.  
    Your description reminds me of a medical phenomenon called "the phantom limb". When people lose an extremity they still perceive sensations like itches, pain etc. even though their arm or leg no longer is with them. I have had no contact with my mother for many many years (although she is still alive), yet still I have sensations and perceptions of her presence. When I\’m on the case the memmories only bring me insights and additional strength. When at times I lapse into a stupor and lose my vigilance I tend to trip a little, but I get right back in line!
    I\’d like to ask you a question. How do you feel being a father? Were you prepared for it or did you learn along the way?

  14. Jaime Campbell says:

    You are my first visit and this is my first entry read.  I cannot tell you adequately enough how completely right on this description is.  Thank you for putting words to it.
    And thank you for the prayers.  I felt them.  Still do.

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