Literary Taunts

There are, I’m sure, in the lives of all of us, a moment when we wished we could have delivered a witty remark, a real zinger, apt retribution for someone who has raised our ire, offended to the core, or was just begging to be deflated in their pompous arrogance. I remember  my admiration the first time I read the famous nose speech in "Cyrano de Bergerac" and the rapier like wit that flowed from the page. Here are some famous literary taunts sent to me recently by a friend. (I recall JB Metz may have also had these at some time on his page.) I felt they were worthy to share with you today.



"I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here." — Stephen Bishop

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." — Winston Churchill (about Clement Atlee)

"I’ve just learned about his illness.  Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial" — Irvin S.  Cobb

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." — Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." — William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." — Samuel Johnson

"He had delusions of adequacy." — Walter Kerr

"I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening  But this wasn’t it." — Groucho Marx

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." — Thomas Brackett Reed

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." — Forrest Tucker

"I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." — Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." — Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." — Oscar Wilde

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." — Oscar Wilde

"He has Van Gogh’s ear for music." — Billy Wilder




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25 Responses to Literary Taunts

  1. Nellie O Apple says:

    I ’ll put a girdle round about the earth In forty minutes"The course of true love never did run smooth".
    "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind".
    My heart Is true as steel. A Midsummer Night’s Dream Quote

  2. Nellie O Apple says:

    A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults." –Louis Nizer
    "I feel so miserable without you. It\’s almost like having you here." –Stephen Bishop
    "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." –John Bright
    "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." –Winston Churchill
    "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." –Winston Churchill
    "I\’ve just learned about his illness. Let\’s hope it\’s nothing trivial." –Irvin S. Cobb
    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." –Clarence Darrow

    Jorge…please forgive. I made a messon your board. It has been months that I have not post or talk to anyone on the computer. I had T-12 FX and there\’s more to it. I tried to communicate with you because I know you are a goody-goody friend and a respectable man I ever met online.
    God bless and Happy Holy Week or Happy Easter. 😉

  3. sonia says:

    Hello Jorge,how are you today?
    Great collection of "literary taunts" !! Hilarious read !! 🙂
    Here are a few more to add to the bouquet 🙂
    "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it." – Moses Hadas
    "He is a self-made man & worships his creator." – John Bright
    "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." – Abraham Lincoln
    Its quite easy and possible,in today\’s materialistic world,that waits for no one ,to get wrapped up in the "i,me,myself" mode !! Lifetime can pass by before the realisation might strike !! Reminders to slow down and do your bit is always necessary !!
    Hope all is grt with you!
    Happy Easter to you and your loved ones !!

  4. Gelert says:

    \’I liked your opera. Perhaps I will set it to music.\’ – Mozart to some poor schlock.
    \’I never forget a face, but in your case, I\’ll make an exception.\’ – Groucho Marx

    Clare Boothe Luce – (inviting Dorothy Parker to enter a room first) Age before beauty.Dorothy Parker – (accepting the invitation) Pearls before swine.
    Nancy Astor – If you were my husband, I would poison your tea.Churchill – Madam, if you were my wife, I\’d drink it.

  5. Suzalita says:

    As always , a delightful visit to your blog – you always make me laugh and smile! Happy Easter to you!

  6. Embrace says:

    Thanks for the Easter wish and that little boy is my only grandchild. 🙂 He is something else.
    Have great weekend. 🙂

  7. Jill says:

    Dear Jorge,
    Very nice to hear from you. As usual your space is a pleasure to visit! May I add:
    (This phrase was from a famous commedian–I don\’t remember his name) "Take my wife…please!"
    "Is your face hurting you? Well, it\’s killing me!"
    Have a nice Easter.

  8. Jill says:

    Oh Jorge,
    By the way, my father has resumed his writing on his blog. You might have a minute to drop by and give him a comment on his latest article "Alienate or Integrate".
    I\’m getting warmed up to write soon.
    Best again,

  9. Bittersweet on-the-hill. says:

    Hello Jorge…..
    great lines by the literary elite!  Loved them.  Happy Easter.     Bittersweet

  10. Kimberly Me says:

    Hey Jorge,
    Just coming by to see you and how you are, old friend.  Your entry gave me a smile.
    Love to you.

  11. Unknown says:

    OH!  I DO so like these!!!  I have read some but not all, already!  That was a pleasure!!!

  12. Lisa says:

    Hmmm.  Thinking my favorite is Samuel Johnson\’s … further explanation to follow. 😉  A good way to end my work day, though.

  13. Cheryl says:

    This was great and I copied it to email to my daughters.  About Vista.  I almost upgraded because I wanted the speech recognition software and then started reading what others had to say about it.  I heard over and over again to WAIT!  My good friend needed a new laptop so I went with her and selected a fine expensive one with Vista Premium on it.  The company was paying so we got the best out there at a price of about 2 grand.  I decided I would experiment on hers for a few months and so far I have not been compelled to run out and buy my own.  I tried the speech recognition and would have used a jack hammer on it but I would have had to pay back the company so in my frustration went back to my own office and have not returned to her machine yet.  I am sure we are all doing something wrong but I have not figured out a fix it yet.

  14. Kimberly Me says:

    Happy Easter to you, J.  It\’s good to see you again.
    K.J. (Kimberly Jo)

  15. Beach Bum says:

    Happy Easter to you!

  16. Joe says:

    Hey J,
    Good to drop in on you — and you were on my favorite topics — quotes.  I turned 50 this year & I tend to remember the quotes, but not who penned them.  I like the comments from your readers as well.  I hope to spend more time with my "virtual friends" this summer.  Work has taken it\’s toll on me, but I have an excellent physician & can still handle working out 6 days a week ("No one likes getting up a four AM to work out" — Jack LaLanne).  Just doesn\’t leave much time for other pastimes.  I promise to finish the walk across England on my blog before the one-year anniversary of the trip.

  17. sonia says:

    Hello Jorge,
    Always a pleasure to be here !! Hope you had a wonderful and a truly blessed Easter with you loved ones !!

  18. c says:

    Some of those are brilliant. I\’ve always loved Churchill quotes. Another good one is: "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

  19. Unknown says:

    Hello again.  I came back to see if you blogged again but I had the pleasure of re-reading these taunts again! What fun!  🙂

  20. Fenix says:

    Hello Jorge:
    Easter was perfect!!! My daughters were at home… those days were very pleasant.
    Hope you had an enjoyable Easter with your family too.

  21. Nellie O Apple says:

    Hello J. thanks you for posting. I attended the Saturday mass vigil at the cathedral here in Dallas. It was a good feeling despite of the chilly weather. We walked two blocks from where the car was parked. My back was hurting so bad but fortunately, I managed it quite well. I took my med before I left home, so it was not bad at all. Well, it was a three hours mass. My friend’s daughter was with us and it was her first time to attend the Holy week mass. I was proud of her.  Her dad was overwhelmed her presence in the Catholic Church. Bless their heart.
     Bless your heart and I hope you are all right!  Peace.

  22. Unknown says:

    Thank you very much for coming by!!!  I appreciated that.  And by the way, had you only "met" me sooner you would know I hardly ever watch TV at all.  🙂 (I am a reader)

  23. Theresa says:

    I loved these!!  😉  Now if only I could memorize them all!  Have a great rest of the week!  Theresa

  24. Kathryn says:

    Oh I love it — *grin*

  25. LORI says:

    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Great list of quotes. The first is the best… "I feel so miserable without you, it\’s almost like having you here." — Stephen Bishop
    Good grief. It\’s nice here. Off to read some more here within your blog.
    I enjoyed your view on Vista operating system too.

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