Dear Abby Stumpers

For those of you with good memories, you will recognize this as I piece I had posted a couple of years ago. As it has been a busy weekend, followed by the usual work crush, I haven’t had the time to post anything new today. Since we can all use a smile, I’m hoping the following will provide one for you.
Dear Abby Stumpers.
The following are actual letters that Abigail Van Buren (Dear Abby) admitted she was at a total loss to answer:

Dear Abby,
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher, and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties.These two women go everywhere together, and I’ve never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

Dear Abby,
What can I do about all the sex, nudity, language and violence on my VCR?

Dear Abby,
I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much I’m not even sure this baby I’m carrying is his.

Dear Abby,
I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It’s getting expensive, and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don’t know him well enough to discuss money with him.

Dear Abby,
I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again. Should I believe him?

Dear Abby,
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

Dear Abby,
I joined the Navy to see the world. I’ve seen it. Now, how do I get out?

Dear Abby,
My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour everyweek for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.

Dear Abby,
Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift? I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn’t, and he did it.

Dear Abby,
My mother is mean and short-tempered. Do you think she is going through her mental pause?

Dear Abby,
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex years ago and he IS a doctor. What now?

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4 Responses to Dear Abby Stumpers

  1. Betty says:

    Hi Jorge,
    Thanks for the chuckle!  Thanks also for reminding me of Joan Didion\’s book.  I had it – bought it when we were told Dean\’s cancer had metastasized, but could not bring myself to open it.  It is a brilliantly written book and has helped me to seek grief counseling.
    Hope you are well.

  2. Unknown says:

    Jorge, thanks so much for stopping by, and I\’m glad you enjoyed the posting about my grandparents.  They were very special people.  And I will pass these same values on to my children, for they are very precious.  I\’ve been busy with school, only two more weeks until final exams.  Take care.  Danele
    PS I enjoyed your posting.  It\’s the first time I\’ve seen these letters to Dear Abby!

  3. Gelert says:

    Just what I needed on this crazy night. Loved them.

  4. c says:

    oh my. 🙂 Thanks for the words of encouragement — I\’m moved AND I passed!

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