California Life

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, it’s your turn..
You know you’re from California if:

Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

You make over $300,000 and still can’t afford a house.

You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

Your child’s 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

You can’t remember . . Is pot illegal?

You’ve been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

You can’t remember . .. . Is pot illegal?

A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

You can’t remember . .. .is pot illegal?

It’s barely sprinkling rain and there’s a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

It’s barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.

The Terminator is your Governor.

If you drive illegally, they take away your driver’s license. If you’re here illegally, they want to give you one.
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19 Responses to California Life

  1. K says:

    That was GREAT!!  It\’s been a while since my last visit.. but that was a very funny welcome!  Hope you are well Jorge!

  2. Cheryl says:

    Wonderful…  I just told someone I was going to move to California and be an illegal to get services….Maybe it is time.  I just read an article about an inhalable pot with a vaporizer.  It is much healthier and certainly not illegal since you are not smoking it. 

  3. Suki x says:

    Hi Jorge
    F.O.B is a great title , I am sure you are very cuddly!
    Love the blog
    Love Suki x

  4. PJ says:

    Good Afternoon Jorge,
    Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. I really like #9 and 14. Thanks for the laughs.
    Have a terrific weekend.. plus upcoming week.
    Until next time…Keep Smiling.

  5. Gelert says:

    sounds sooooo foreign Jorge, think I might move. One question though, I can\’t seem to remember – Is pot illegal there?

  6. Unknown says:

    Hi Jorge, Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts about my last two blogs.  And I really appreciate the wonderful compliment you gave me.  You certainly made my day!  I agree with you about the uncertainty in relationships.  I know that one of life’s hard lessons is “sometimes love is not enough.”  To be honest, I’m still a little uneasy about where my boyfriend and I are headed.  But, I will take care of myself.  I’m strong enough to handle whatever might happen, and nothing will stand in the way of my dreams.  Tomorrow is Mother’s Day and I’m really looking forward to spending the day with my Mom.  After a lot of thought, I got her a Journey Diamond Pendant to celebrate her life’s journey, which was and is one of love.  Take care.  Have a wonderful Sunday!  Danele
    PS After hearing redneck jokes all my life, your California stuff was great (love #18)!

  7. Marie says:

    As a Californian, I can only say \’vive la différence\’.
    Yes, Japan celebrates Mothers\’ Day, too.  Carnations are the given to mothers on this day, not only by children by anybody who would like to congratulate a mother on this special day.
    Hugs, Marie

  8. Beth says:

    Good one!!  California here I come.

  9. Bittersweet on-the-hill. says:

    Adds humor to what is a truly beautiful day!
    I\’ve been reading some of your blogs at other sites and I can only think what a sensitive and caring human being. You are a man in tune with both sides of his nature and it is beautiful to see.  I know you have a son that you love dearly.  I can only hope you have a daughter as well.  Your advice is touching, thoughtful and very caring.
    Be well.    Bittersweet

  10. Vonnie says:

    haha Great post, Jorge! I have no idea what the dynamics of California are, so this really have me a bird\’s eye view! My brother was in California not long ago, as his son was taking a motor cross training course thing, and he said that it was awesome there. I still can\’t wrap my head around the terminator being your Govenor! Oh, and yes… pot is illegal! 😉 Hope you\’re having a great weekend friend. Take good care. Yvonne. x ((hug)).

  11. Deborah says:

    Yes pot unfortunately is still illegal despite all the hard work put out there by NORML, which reminds me that Seattle\’s Hemp Fest is just around the corner.  But not only is the pot illegal but even the thing it is smoked it.  You might or might not be surprised at how many files I open each day for Drug Para/use.  Probably a good thing for me that I can\’t smoke it even if it were legal.  I can\’t believe that you are jealous of my little jaunt to Spain, it seems like you are travelling all the time, and doesn\’t your son live in Paris?  Sheesh.
    Blessed be,

  12. Betty says:

    Hi Jorge,
    Ah, California!  Every year in August I attend a retreat at the Franciscan Retreat House in Malibu.  I love southern California, I don\’t know if I would love it if I lived there, but once a year for a week it is magnificent and no, I didn\’t see George Clooney at Starbucks, but I did see Mel Gibson and Pearce Brosnan at Ben and Jerry\’s.  Thanks for sharing.
    Thanks also for your kind and encouraging thoughts.

  13. Lisa says:

    My dear sister lived in California for two years and surely thought it was a practical joke that Mr. Arnold was a political nominee.  Her chagrin when she discovered it to be true was short lived, though, as she was very busy enjoying the rest of life that California had to offer (this during her Naval Language Institute Days … I\’ll let the imagination fill in the rest).  Thanks for sharing this bit of light-heartedness.

  14. Holy says:

    That\’s wonderfully funny…California is a nation in and onto itself I\’m sometimes convinced…I think it shares services fed. govt. services only because it behooves Californians to do so – allows them more time to dine, sun and Botox.

  15. Gelert says:

    Just nipping by for a fresh visit. Hope you are well.

  16. redvelvet says:

    hahaha…enjoyed the post… thanks for dropping by my space and posting a comment… I\’ve finished my masters so hopefully will have more time to relax this summer… and visit spaces from time to time… hope all is well… will be back again soon… ciao…

  17. David says:

    On number 1, you forgot to add "… and yet, you\’ve seen all of them".  On number 7, I actually can.  I did live there for over 20 years – some things you never forget…

  18. Jane says:

    Too funny 🙂

  19. LORI says:

    OH HOW FUNNY… I love California and Californians…
    But hey, Is Pot Legal? Great!!!

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