The 401-Keg Plan

It’s been another wild week in the economic world, and the wizards of Wall Street have found the magic formula for wealth – for themselves, naturally – privatize profits and socialize risk. I love it! They’ve even set up elaborate and expensive parties for themselves at posh resorts to help celebrate their triumphs. In times like these, you can invest using the government ATF model: put you money in alcohol, firearms and tobacco. Or, you can follow the variation as described in the program below.

RETIREMENT PLAN INVESTMENT TIP

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it
would now be worth $49.00.
With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000.
With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00.

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you
would have $49.00 left.

If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left.

 

But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago,
drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling
refund you would have $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to
drink heavily and recycle.

 

This is called the 401-Keg Plan.

Either way, have a good weekend.

 
 
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17 Responses to The 401-Keg Plan

  1. Neora Chana says:

    Love it!

  2. Deborah says:

    I\’ll drink to that!
    Blessed be

  3. Beth says:

    I lift my glass to you.  (Mine has diet caffeine free pepsi in it.  I wonder how much that stock is worth now?)
    Have a good weekend Jorge!

  4. Marge says:

     
    It\’s been a rocky weekend for all of us as we watch the effects of financial misbehavior continue their effects upon Wall Street. Isn\’t it strange that no one is asking specifically WHERE the "bailout" money went?
     
    Thank you for posting the 401-Keg Plan; I think we all could use a smile just now!
     
    Thinking of you, my friend…
     
    Marge

  5. Hope says:

    Well, Jorge.. its not often that I almost spit out what I am drinking because of laughter..but dear friend you did it this time..and we so need a laugh.. much love and soft hugs sent your way..

  6. PJ says:

    Good Afternoon Jorge,
     
    You have a wonderful weekend, as well. Very cute entry. It is a sad time for the economy, indeed.
     
    Until next time..Keep Smiling.
     
    Paula

  7. Unknown says:

    Hi,  Thanks for the Latin Words. Im very interested in that language and hear it is so hard and believe that.
    As for your entry … Well the Goverment here also is in an amzing state. I dont follow it that close as I dont understand it all and get frustrated with it. I know the Canadain Dollar fell yesterday which could create change and everywhere . Some good , some bad.
    I was in Jasper and went to Jasper Park Lodge. I saw where the Queen stays when she comes.. Now that is a big place for her and maids, butllers, and so on. 
    Yes we pay dearly for all of these things too .. Partys and all there Partys 🙂
    Be well also J. Thanks again. More Latin Please… Ha !!!
    Lisa 😉

  8. Unknown says:

    Its Thanks Giving for us Canadians. I wish you a Happy ThanksGiving my Freind.

  9. dawn says:

    (lol) you tickle me! 401-Keg Plan, eh im gonna have to advise my friends to show off my indisputable knowledge (stolen from you of cos :P)p.S:an adrenalin rush no less, but i wldnt need a specific full-moon nor silver bullet to finish this one off…cos it\’s a colorwolf—no werewolf and guess what it wears an agate necklace of the golden cross.  all dawn\’s gotta do is rip the chain off but she\’s not sure she has strength enough to free him….*sighs*

  10. J says:

    Cheers!
    j

  11. Charlotte says:

    oh, thanks for the good laugh… I needed that.  I am here at the computer briefly…. very tired, but following dr\’s orders… hugs, lottemae

  12. Stephen Craig says:

    Jorge,  Indeed she is.  Now onto the current topic…….Where can I buy gin in cans?  Smile!  As I see it the government deregulated banks and financial institutions thus giving them a license to steal.  Oblivious to the needs of the people and without conscience, they stole.  At least during the Great Depression there were still some men of honor with courage enough to leap out of windows.  These bloody bastards just took the money and ran.  When I first read the news of the meltdown I was about to go mucking about " I am ruined"!  " I am ruined"!  Then realized I posess the three most important things in life, my health, my family, and my friends.   Plus the wherewithall to survive in the woods or wilderness should there be no money at all. 
    In the mean time,
    As ever be well,
    Stephen Craig Rowe
     

  13. Jane says:

    I\’d like to share this Jorge 🙂

  14. dawn says:

    hey Jorge, brought a little clip you might like -> *click!*week\’s started well, i hope!  cheerios, dawn

  15. dawn says:

    his collection, "The Book of Beastly Poetry." , eh? i give it another chance but (lol) Jorge he doesnt make sense this bloke, clumsy rhythms perhaps but non-sense?! The Fly
    The Lord in his wisdom made the fly
    Then forgot to tell us why..

  16. Holy says:

    Or eat, drink and be wary.  \’Tis a great time to invest now though.

  17. Jana says:

    Hi Jorge! Men it is pretty crazy!!! I am glad that I didn\’t invest in stock. All the retirements gone. I feel bad for old people who need the money now. Yeah, let\’s drink and recycle!!!!!
     

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