Chocolate

I had just come back from a delightful hike in the local mountains. As we sat down with our friends,  I opened a bottle of wine, and shared a taste of chocolate. I confess – I’m a chocoholic. I’m afraid I will never be cured by a 12-step program, as I am shameless in my desire, and find myself surrounded by like minded people who fuel my addiction by giving me boxes of the stuff for birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries – you name it. I was going to write a whole blog on this topic, until I remembered, “Wait! I’ve done this before.” So here it is. Hope you enjoy it with a nice piece chocolate truffle!

CHOCOLATE – THE ALL CONSUMING PASSION
For those of you for whom chocolate is not just a passing fancy but a philosophy by which to live, but whose cravings are afflicted with guilt about health and nutrition, I offer the following items.


1) Chocolate is a vegetable. How, you ask? Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Beans are a vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.

2) To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk,
which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food.

3) Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all
count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

4) If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too
slowly.

5) The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store
in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

6) Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the
edge off your appetite, and you’ll eat less.

7) If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the
fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the
chocolate to protect themselves.

8) If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is
that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

9) Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look
younger. Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.

10) Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today.That
way, at least you’ll get one thing done.

11) A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of
calories in one place. Now, isn’t that handy?

12) If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer.
But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

13) If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can’t let that happen, can you?

This entry was posted in Humor, Thoughts & Musings and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Chocolate

  1. Beth Marie says:

    I love chocolate too, who doesn’t? 🙂

  2. you know chocolate has iron, and endorphins. it also has antioxidents. ive been telling people for years chocolate is good for you. henh!
    k☼

  3. thebuzz16 says:

    Hi Jorge,
    I believe with all my heart that chocolate is good for you. I also am addicted to chocolate. My favorite thing about chocolate is that feeling one experiences with the first bite – that Ahhhhh…moment and while it is addictive to me one does not have to worry about getting a DWC (driving while chocolated.)
    Missed you.
    Betty

  4. ember850 says:

    Love chocolate, love the post. Stop by my blog if you wish, I’ve been posting a bit again. Neora

  5. Jana ♥ says:

    Hahaha Jorge, that was funny and educating! 🙂
    Now I have taste for a chocolate but I don’t have any at home. Maybe I can watch the movie Chocolate which I love very much!
    Thank you!

  6. gelert848 says:

    Hi Jorge. I lost your blog for a while, but glad I found it again. Hope all is well.

  7. natswans says:

    Love chocolate it is indeed good for you , I am a member of the Chocolate tasting club and wouldn’t eat anything other than the real thing. Good post my favourite subject or one of.
    Mnay best wishes
    Sheila

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