Cat Physics

Cat Physics


1 – Law of Cat Inertia

A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some

outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying



2 – Law of Cat Motion

A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason

to change direction.


3 – Law of Cat Magnetism

All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct

proportion to the darkness of the fabric.


4 – Law of Cat Thermodynamics

Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat,

in which case all heat flows to the cat.


5 – Law of Cat Stretching

A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap

just taken.


6 – Law of Cat Sleeping

All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as

uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.


7 – Law of Cat Elongation

A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top

that has anything remotely interesting on it.


8 – Law of Cat Acceleration

A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready

to stop.


9 – Law of Dinner Table Attendance

Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.


10 – Law of Rug Configuration

No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.


11 – Law of Obedience Resistance

A cat’s resistance varies in proportion to a human’s desire for her to

do something.


12 – First Law of Energy Conservation

Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will,

therefore, use as little energy as possible.


13 – Second Law of Energy Conservation

Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.


14 – Law of Refrigerator Observation

If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and

take out something good to eat.


15 – Law of Electric Blanket Attraction

Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of



16 – Law of Random Comfort Seeking

A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot

in any given room.


17 – Law of Bag / Box Occupancy

All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the

earliest possible nanosecond.


18 – Law of Cat Embarrassment

A cat’s irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times

the amount of human laughter.


19 – Law of Milk Consumption

A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.


20 – Law of Furniture Replacement

A cat’s desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost

of the furniture.


21 – Law of Cat Landing

A cat will always land in the softest place possible.


22 – Law of Fluid Displacement

A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of

milk consumed.


23 – Law of Cat Disinterest

A cat’s interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of

effort a human expends in trying to interest him.


24 – Law of Pill Rejection

Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape



25 – Law of Cat Composition

A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn’t Matter.





This entry was posted in America, Cats, Humor, Thoughts & Musings, Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Cat Physics

  1. timfergudon says:

    Yep I believe each and every cat possess each and every one of those traits And is never hesitant to use them!! (Pic to follow).

    Sent from my iPhone

  2. Never owned a cat myself but my roommate had one (the cat eventually became the 4th roomie). Every law is absolutely true, especially the last one!

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